**Warning, full on truth and hard core feelings ahead**


Can you please tell me how the fuck I am suppose to keep doing this?????
Living THIS life?
Today was the guilt.
Why did I say that? Cry
Why did he say that? Cry
I didn't mean it! Cry
I hope he didn't mean it! Cry

Why is it so easy for people to lean on me instead of stand on their own?
I need my space, my home for my kids and I to somehow connect but the wedge and stress is forever present these days.

Where the fuck is my backbone?

How am I ever going to get us moved, all alone, with out the help and support of my husband?
He did SO much for us. Cry.

I'm so sick of crying - how the fuck do I keep on keeping on?????????????????