I truly hate change. I have always had a hard time making any big decisions because of this.
My decision making skills seem to be less than perfect these days.
I have so many things to think about and just when I think I have made a decision I look up and no one is there to say "ya babe I think that is a good idea" or "hell no, what are you thinking?"
So, I end up stuck, dead right there in my tracks and everything stays the same.
I cant keep living "the same" - things are different.
Should I? seems to be the question of the hour, should I move? Should I get a different car because this one is too much for me to afford? Should I keep going to school, Should I sell Wally's truck? Should I make pizza or fucking steak??????????????????
The truth is the answer to any and all questions is irrelevant because no one gives a shit about the answer. Just me.
Part of the decisions that have been the biggest to make (and have yet to be made) are what to do with Wally's things. His clothes still hang in the closet and his tools still in the garage.
His truck sits outside, on the side of the house just as he left it.
I think Dustin and I have finally come to an agreement about the truck. I had no plans of selling it and the day I do will be a sad day. That truck was part of Wally in a way that I can never understand. Unfortunately I will be listing it for sale to pay of the rest of the rest of Wally's headstone. My feelings on this are bitter and I will leave it at that. Period.
The rest of his things will remain in tact for now. One day at a time, right??
That wraps up this fun filled post, next one will be all about my depression wooo-hoooo! Should be a blast, who's bringing the balloons to that party???
Mar 20, 2012
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Lori, I sold Ed's truck to our youngest son. I could not function with Ed's clothes in the bedroom and I went through them and donated most of them. The exception would be the things my daughter in law requested as she wanted to make a memory quilt for her children from their Bumpa. I also could not handling wearing my wedding band and engagement ring...so the engagement ring is tucked away until my grand daughter is grown and the wedding rings Shawne wants to use when he gets married next year.
That being said I think I am in the minority as it seems most people hoard their loved ones things after they pass away.
I also had to change bedrooms and I had to get new bedding.....weird I guess but I had no peace until I did these things.
The ONLY thing that remains the same is a blanket Ed always wrapped himself in on our sofa. That blanket remains folded at the end of the sofa unless I want to nap on the sofa and then I use it.
Donna I am glad you shared this. I do not know why it feels so wrong to part with the things of our lost loved ones. I know if I were to pass I wouldn't want people to feel the need to keep my things from guilt or for memories those are neatly tucked away in our hearts :)
for me it actually helped to lessen the pain as those visual reminders were constantly in my face.
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